Responding to Criticism – Steve Andreas

Question and Answer

What is Responding?

Responding is Purchase to Criticism - Steve Andreas courses at here with PRICE $ $ One of the fundamental presuppositions of NLP is that “There is no such thing as failure, only feedback.” That's a nice thought, and it points in a very useful direction..

How does Responding Purchase?

Purchase Responding to Criticism - Steve Andreas courses at here with PRICE $ $ One of the fundamental presuppositions of NLP is that “There is no such thing as failure, only feedback.” That's a nice thought, and it points in a very useful direction.

What is a majority of people?

a majority of people is However, for it's just a cute sentence that doesn't automatically change their experience or response..

How does a majority of people just?

However, for a majority of people it's just a cute sentence that doesn't automatically change their experience or response.

What is Most people?

Most people is (roughly 70%) respond to criticism with immediate over¬whelming bad feelings..

How does Most people respond?

Most people (roughly 70%) respond to criticism with immediate over¬whelming bad feelings.

What is they?

they is Then try to climb out of the emotional hole they have just dug for themselves by rationalizing, trying to access a good state, trying to be objective, etc. Since they are already in a bad state, usually none of these attempts work very well..

How does they try?

Then they try to climb out of the emotional hole they have just dug for themselves by rationalizing, trying to access a good state, trying to be objective, etc. Since they are already in a bad state, usually none of these attempts work very well.

What is their efforts?

their efforts is And since most of are directed at regaining a good state, they typically do not make good use of any feedback information contained in the criticism..

How does their efforts are directed?

And since most of their efforts are directed at regaining a good state, they typically do not make good use of any feedback information contained in the criticism.

What is they?

they is If do make use of this information, it's usually much later..

How does they do make?

If they do make use of this information, it's usually much later.

What is some people?

some people is At the other extreme, (perhaps 20%) respond to criticism by simply rejecting it..

How does some people respond?

At the other extreme, some people (perhaps 20%) respond to criticism by simply rejecting it.

What is They?

They is protect themselves from any bad feelings, but they also prevent themselves from even considering whether any part of the criticism they receive is valid or useful feedback..

How does They protect?

They protect themselves from any bad feelings, but they also prevent themselves from even considering whether any part of the criticism they receive is valid or useful feedback.

What is A third group (less?

A third group (less is than 10%) can listen to criticism without imme¬diately feeling bad..

How does A third group (less can listen?

A third group (less than 10%) can listen to criticism without imme¬diately feeling bad.

What is They?

They is can also carefully consider whether the criticism contains useful information, and use that feedback in a productive way to modify their future behavior..

How does They can also carefully consider?

They can also carefully consider whether the criticism contains useful information, and use that feedback in a productive way to modify their future behavior.

What is these three groups?

these three groups is Of course aren't rigid categories..

How does these three groups aren't?

Of course these three groups aren't rigid categories.

What is You?

You is can probably find an example of each of these different responses in your own life, depending upon your state of mind, the context, the criticizer, the frame, etc. Most of us occasionally get into bad states in which we respond unpleasantly to the most innocuous comment..

How does You can probably find?

You can probably find an example of each of these different responses in your own life, depending upon your state of mind, the context, the criticizer, the frame, etc. Most of us occasionally get into bad states in which we respond unpleasantly to the most innocuous comment.

What is us?

us is Most of also have times when we're in such a good state that no matter how harshly we're criticized we can process it simply as interesting information..

How does us also have?

Most of us also have times when we're in such a good state that no matter how harshly we're criticized we can process it simply as interesting information.

What is Several years ago?

Several years ago is we became curious about the internal structure that allowed the “experts” at responding well to criticism to do it with such ease..

How does Several years ago became?

Several years ago we became curious about the internal structure that allowed the “experts” at responding well to criticism to do it with such ease.

What is We?

We is have modeled a number of people who are characteristically very good at responding to criticism in a useful way..

How does We have modeled?

We have modeled a number of people who are characteristically very good at responding to criticism in a useful way.

What is slight variations,?

slight variations, is all of them use the same basic internal process, and this strategy can be easily and quickly taught to others..

How does slight variations, use?

slight variations, all of them use the same basic internal process, and this strategy can be easily and quickly taught to others.

What is Example?

Example is (The following transcript is edited from a videotape of Steve demon¬strating how to install this strategy in Carl, a participant in one of our Practitioner Certification Trainings in January, 1987..

How does Example is edited?

Example (The following transcript is edited from a videotape of Steve demon¬strating how to install this strategy in Carl, a participant in one of our Practitioner Certification Trainings in January, 1987.

What is This demonstration?

This demonstration is and some additional discussion is available on a videotape..

How does This demonstration is?

This demonstration and some additional discussion is available on a videotape.

What is We?

We is Steve: are going to do two things as I demonstrate this..

How does We are going to do?

Steve: We are going to do two things as I demonstrate this.

What is I?

I is One, am going to demonstrate installing the strategy itself, and going through the different forks of the strategy and so on..

How does I am going to demonstrate installing?

One, I am going to demonstrate installing the strategy itself, and going through the different forks of the strategy and so on.

What is The other thing?

The other thing is I am going to do is demonstrate a sneaky way of installing a strategy, and that is by doing it in a dissociated state..

How does The other thing am going to do?

The other thing I am going to do is demonstrate a sneaky way of installing a strategy, and that is by doing it in a dissociated state.

What is a trip?

a trip is And that is going to be kind of for you, Carl, because you are not that hip on dissociation, are you?.

How does a trip is going to be?

And that is going to be kind of a trip for you, Carl, because you are not that hip on dissociation, are you?

What is Um,?

Um, is Carl: no, I like doing dissociation..

How does Um, like doing?

Carl: Um, no, I like doing dissociation.

What is Can?

Can is Steve: you do that?.

How does Can do?

Steve: Can you do that?

What is I?

I is So what want you to do is see Carl out here in some situation in which someone might give him some kind of feedback which could be construed as criticism..

How does I want?

So what I want you to do is see Carl out here in some situation in which someone might give him some kind of feedback which could be construed as criticism.

What is You?

You is just see it out there, OK?.

How does You just see?

You just see it out there, OK?

What is (Carl?

(Carl is leans back a little.) There you go!.

How does (Carl leans back?

(Carl leans back a little.) There you go!

What is You?

You is can see him as far away as you want..

How does You can see?

You can see him as far away as you want.

What is You?

You is can put a sheet of Plexiglas here if you want..

How does You can put?

You can put a sheet of Plexiglas here if you want.

What is (Carl?

(Carl is smiles and nods.) Oh, you like that one, don't you?.

How does (Carl smiles?

(Carl smiles and nods.) Oh, you like that one, don't you?

What is I?

I is And want you to stay in this dissociated state..

How does I want?

And I want you to stay in this dissociated state.

What is you?

you is What are going to do is watch him go through this strategy..

How does you are going to do?

What you are going to do is watch him go through this strategy.

What is you?

you is So are just going to be an observer, and your function as an observer is to note at any time if any kind of problems come up with him out there..

How does you are just going to be?

So you are just going to be an observer, and your function as an observer is to note at any time if any kind of problems come up with him out there.

What is you?

you is Then can let me know about those and then we can do something to make it right..

How does you can let?

Then you can let me know about those and then we can do something to make it right.

What is you?

you is So are just going to watch this..

How does you are just going to watch?

So you are just going to watch this.

What is another way?

another way is And of framing this for people is that we are just going to try it out, out here, and we are not going to install it in him until it is all done, and it is totally OK out here; we are not going to do anything to him in here..

How does another way framing?

And another way of framing this for people is that we are just going to try it out, out here, and we are not going to install it in him until it is all done, and it is totally OK out here; we are not going to do anything to him in here.

What is a way?

a way is Now in that is a bit of a scam..

How does a way is?

Now in a way that is a bit of a scam.

What is it?

it is But is a really useful scam with some people who are really wary: “Nnnehh, don't meddle with my brain,” or something like that..

How does it is?

But it is a really useful scam with some people who are really wary: “Nnnehh, don't meddle with my brain,” or something like that.

What is one sense?

one sense is In it's true that it will not be installed until and unless any ecological concerns have been dealt with..

How does one sense will not be installed?

In one sense it's true that it will not be installed until and unless any ecological concerns have been dealt with.

What is part of it?

part of it is So that is true..

How does part of it is?

So that part of it is true.

What is you?

you is However, when are seeing yourself out here going through it, you are also learning by self—metaphor inside..

How does you are seeing?

However, when you are seeing yourself out here going through it, you are also learning by self—metaphor inside.

What is you?

you is So this is the that is going to learn a new way of responding to criticism, because I guess you are not too happy with the one you've got right now..

How does you is?

So this is the you that is going to learn a new way of responding to criticism, because I guess you are not too happy with the one you've got right now.

What is head) No way, Jose.?

head) No way, Jose. is Carl: (shaking.

How does head) No way, Jose. (shaking?

Carl: (shaking head) No way, Jose.

What is I?

I is don't like it..

How does I don't?

I don't like it.

What is him?

him is So see out there, and in a moment someone else is going to say something which could be construed as criticism..

How does him see?

So see him out there, and in a moment someone else is going to say something which could be construed as criticism.

What is he?

he is And what is gong to do is something very, very important..

How does he is?

And what he is gong to do is something very, very important.

What is He?

He is is going to dissociate from the criticism..

How does He is going to dissociate?

He is going to dissociate from the criticism.

What is you?

you is (OK.) So are going to watch him—(Carl: Dissociate, while I am dissociated.) While you are dissociated, right..

How does you are going to watch?

(OK.) So you are going to watch him—(Carl: Dissociate, while I am dissociated.) While you are dissociated, right.

What is OK.) Steve:?

OK.) Steve: is (Oh, It is sort of like the phobia procedure, where you have a three—place dissociation, and the function is the same..

How does OK.) Steve: is sort of like?

(Oh, OK.) Steve: It is sort of like the phobia procedure, where you have a three—place dissociation, and the function is the same.

What is someone?

someone is So is going to say something to Carl..

How does someone is going to say?

So someone is going to say something to Carl.

What is you?

you is And can just make it up, what somebody might come over and say to him..

How does you can just make?

And you can just make it up, what somebody might come over and say to him.

What is that Carl over there?

that Carl over there is And is going to keep this away somehow, (OK.) until he has had a chance to completely evaluate it..

How does that Carl over there is going to keep?

And that Carl over there is going to keep this away somehow, (OK.) until he has had a chance to completely evaluate it.

What is a couple of ways?

a couple of ways is Now there are that he can do it..

How does a couple of ways are?

Now there are a couple of ways that he can do it.

What is He?

He is can hear the words and imagine them printed out in space at arm's length..

How does He can hear?

He can hear the words and imagine them printed out in space at arm's length.

What is he?

he is Or can listen to them, but at a distance..

How does he can listen?

Or he can listen to them, but at a distance.

What is And?

And is (OK.) he can do that in several different ways and you can just watch and see how he does that..

How does And can do?

(OK.) And he can do that in several different ways and you can just watch and see how he does that.

What is him?

him is So, watch as he hears the criticism..

How does him watch?

So, watch him as he hears the criticism.

What is it?

it is And is some kind of criticism about him..

How does it is?

And it is some kind of criticism about him.

What is he?

he is And is going to keep that sort of at arm's length..

How does he is going to keep?

And he is going to keep that sort of at arm's length.

What is He?

He is is going to stay dissociated from it..

How does He is going to stay dissociated?

He is going to stay dissociated from it.

What is he?

he is And is going to then make a picture of whatever that criticism is, preferably a movie..

How does he is going to?

And he is going to then make a picture of whatever that criticism is, preferably a movie.

What is he?

he is So is going to make a representation of the criticism, dissociated..

How does he is going to make?

So he is going to make a representation of the criticism, dissociated.

What is And?

And is (OK.) then he is going to compare that movie with a movie of whatever best information he has about that same situation..

How does And is going?

(OK.) And then he is going to compare that movie with a movie of whatever best information he has about that same situation.

What is it?

it is To evaluate and say, “Well, does that make sense?” Is there some way that he can make sense out of that?.

How does it evaluate?

To evaluate it and say, “Well, does that make sense?” Is there some way that he can make sense out of that?

What is you?

you is Now, as watch him do that, canhe make some understanding of that?.

How does you watch?

Now, as you watch him do that, canhe make some understanding of that?

What is it?

it is Does make sense that someone could have said that about him?.

How does it Does?

Does it make sense that someone could have said that about him?

What is It?

It is Carl: makes a lot of sense..

How does It makes a lot?

Carl: It makes a lot of sense.

What is it?

it is OK, makes a lot of sense..

How does it makes a lot?

OK, it makes a lot of sense.

What is this point?

this point is At I want you to watch him decide on what kind of response he wants to make to that information..

How does this point want?

At this point I want you to watch him decide on what kind of response he wants to make to that information.

What is it?

it is Because if makes sense, that means it is good information that he didn't have before, right?.

How does it makes?

Because if it makes sense, that means it is good information that he didn't have before, right?

What is he?

he is (Yeah.) So might say, “Thank you,” or “Boy, I'm glad you brought that to my attention..

How does he might say,?

(Yeah.) So he might say, “Thank you,” or “Boy, I'm glad you brought that to my attention.

What is I'll?

I'll is see what I can do about that.” Or whatever..

How does I'll see?

I'll see what I can do about that.” Or whatever.

What is Already?

Already is Carl: he doesn't feel like shit inside..

How does Already doesn't feel like?

Carl: Already he doesn't feel like shit inside.

What is I?

I is mean—(laughter)..

How does I mean—(laughter).?

I mean—(laughter).

What is It?

It is Carl: just feels a whole lot better..

How does It just feels?

Carl: It just feels a whole lot better.

What is it?

it is And is going to be easier for him now to make good use of whatever information is there because he doesn't feel like shit inside, right?.

How does it is going to be?

And it is going to be easier for him now to make good use of whatever information is there because he doesn't feel like shit inside, right?

What is It?

It is is a whole lot easier for him to be objective about it..

How does It is?

It is a whole lot easier for him to be objective about it.

What is “objective”?

“objective” is That is what is, by the way. “Objective” means you are dissociated..

How does “objective” is?

That is what “objective” is, by the way. “Objective” means you are dissociated.

What is you?

you is So, as watch him, I want you to notice him go through the process of deciding what kind of response is appropriate to this situation, in terms of what he might do differently in the future; some kind of changes that he might decide he wants to go through, or whatever would be appropriate, a useful response to this information that has just been given to him. . . ..

How does you watch?

So, as you watch him, I want you to notice him go through the process of deciding what kind of response is appropriate to this situation, in terms of what he might do differently in the future; some kind of changes that he might decide he wants to go through, or whatever would be appropriate, a useful response to this information that has just been given to him. . . .

What is he?

he is OK, so has gone through the decision process..

How does he has gone through?

OK, so he has gone through the decision process.

What is him?

him is And now have actually carry that out, if it is appropriate to do that now and respond to this..

How does him have?

And now have him actually carry that out, if it is appropriate to do that now and respond to this.

What is Somebody?

Somebody is criticized him, right?.

How does Somebody criticized?

Somebody criticized him, right?

What is an appropriate response?

an appropriate response is So if there is to this person like, “Thank you for bringing this to my attention,” or “Boy, I screwed up,” or¬ Carl: Yeah!.

How does an appropriate response is?

So if there is an appropriate response to this person like, “Thank you for bringing this to my attention,” or “Boy, I screwed up,” or¬ Carl: Yeah!

What is he?

he is That's exactly what did..

How does he exactly?

That's exactly what he did.

What is He?

He is thanks the person!.

How does He thanks?

He thanks the person!

What is him?

him is Instead of punching out..

How does him punching?

Instead of punching him out.

What is He?

He is never thanked him before..

How does He never thanked?

He never thanked him before.

What is the past?

the past is In it wasn't so much anger towards the person, it was just anger towards himself (OK, all right), and he doesn't have to feel angry at himself any more..

How does the past wasn't?

In the past it wasn't so much anger towards the person, it was just anger towards himself (OK, all right), and he doesn't have to feel angry at himself any more.

What is He?

He is can accept it as learning..

How does He can accept?

He can accept it as learning.

What is he?

he is And wn he has completed that interaction with that person, I want you to watch him as he takes the time to future—pace doing something different in the future..

How does he has completed?

And when he has completed that interaction with that person, I want you to watch him as he takes the time to future—pace doing something different in the future.

What is he?

he is So has made some decisions about what he missed, or he didn't notice, or he was careless, or whatever it was..

How does he has made?

So he has made some decisions about what he missed, or he didn't notice, or he was careless, or whatever it was.

What is How?

How is (Right.) can he future—pace a new behavior?.

How does How (Right.)?

(Right.) How can he future—pace a new behavior?

What is He?

He is might have to decide on a new behavior first..

How does He might have to decide?

He might have to decide on a new behavior first.

What is he?

he is What is going to do differently in the future, as you watch him future—pace that—so he goes through the decision when and where does he want to be different, and how, specifically..

How does he is?

What is he going to do differently in the future, as you watch him future—pace that—so he goes through the decision when and where does he want to be different, and how, specifically.

What is You?

You is might quickly run through some old responses or use the “New Behavior Gener¬ator,” or whatever..

How does You might quickly run through?

You might quickly run through some old responses or use the “New Behavior Gener¬ator,” or whatever.

What is he?

he is Has done that change already?.

How does he Has?

Has he done that change already?

What is He?

He is doesn't feel the tension inside..

How does He doesn't feel?

He doesn't feel the tension inside.

What is He?

He is is glad the whole thing happened in the first place, because he is learning from it..

How does He is?

He is glad the whole thing happened in the first place, because he is learning from it.

What is your past experiences??

your past experiences? is Is this a little different than.

How does your past experiences? Is?

Is this a little different than your past experiences?

What is He?

He is Carl: has never experienced that in his life..

How does He has never experienced?

Carl: He has never experienced that in his life.

What is It?

It is looks like it, doesn't it?.

How does It looks like?

It looks like it, doesn't it?

What is (laughter)?

(laughter) is It looks like he just saw an angel come down out of the sky!.

How does (laughter) looks like?

(laughter) It looks like he just saw an angel come down out of the sky!

What is It?

It is Carl: is best, you know, and the context is with family, and—he just has not had an easy time with family before, but this is just—I mean, he is actually smiling..

How does It is?

Carl: It is best, you know, and the context is with family, and—he just has not had an easy time with family before, but this is just—I mean, he is actually smiling.

What is I?

I is would like you to run through a different scenario, a little bit different..

How does I would like?

I would like you to run through a different scenario, a little bit different.

What is you?

you is So again see him out here and nobody's around yet..

How does you see?

So again you see him out here and nobody's around yet.

What is And?

And is (OK.) this time, somebody's going to come up and either give a very vague criticism like “You skunk,” or “You turkey,” or something like that, so that he has to actually pause and gather information—because he hears “You turkey” and he makes a picture of a turkey and he makes a picture of himself and they don't match, right?.

How does And time,?

(OK.) And this time, somebody's going to come up and either give a very vague criticism like “You skunk,” or “You turkey,” or something like that, so that he has to actually pause and gather information—because he hears “You turkey” and he makes a picture of a turkey and he makes a picture of himself and they don't match, right?

What is (laughter)?

(laughter) is So he is going to have to gather information like, “Well, can you tell me more?.

How does (laughter) is going to have to gather?

(laughter) So he is going to have to gather information like, “Well, can you tell me more?

What is I?

I is How, specifically, am a turkey?” or whatever, until he gets the information: “What is this person really commenting on?” Carl: “What are they trying to tell him?” “What are they trying to tell him?” And he can do this in a fairly polite, neutral way because he is just¬ Carl: He can dissociate..

How does I am?

How, specifically, am I a turkey?” or whatever, until he gets the information: “What is this person really commenting on?” Carl: “What are they trying to tell him?” “What are they trying to tell him?” And he can do this in a fairly polite, neutral way because he is just¬ Carl: He can dissociate.

What is he?

he is And just wants to have the information..

How does he just wants?

And he just wants to have the information.

What is he?

he is And wn he has got sufficient information that he can make a movie of what this person is concerned about, then he can again go through this thing. . . ..

How does he has got?

And when he has got sufficient information that he can make a movie of what this person is concerned about, then he can again go through this thing. . . .

What is his time?

his time is Now, around does it match or not?.

How does his time does?

Now, his time around does it match or not?

What is After?

After is Carl: they have told him?.

How does After have told?

Carl: After they have told him?

What is they?

they is After have given him some details, is there some kind of match. . ..

How does they have given?

After they have given him some details, is there some kind of match. . .

What is It?

It is was more of a humorous thing than anything else..

How does It was more?

It was more of a humorous thing than anything else.

What is But?

But is (OK.) he probably would not have known that if he hadn't asked the questions..

How does But probably would not have known?

(OK.) But he probably would not have known that if he hadn't asked the questions.

What is I?

I is “How specifically am a turkey?.

How does I specifically am?

“How specifically am I a turkey?

What is (laughter) In?

(laughter) In is the past he probably wouldn't have questioned it..

How does (laughter) In probably wouldn't have questioned?

(laughter) In the past he probably wouldn't have questioned it.

What is He?

He is would have just thought, “Yeah, I'm a turkey.” Either that, or “Screw you, you're a turkey, too.” Right..

How does He would have just thought,?

He would have just thought, “Yeah, I'm a turkey.” Either that, or “Screw you, you're a turkey, too.” Right.

What is you,?

you, is Screw OK..

How does you, Screw?

Screw you, OK.

What is him,?

him, is Now watch as he again goes through this procedure of deciding what response to make to this person..

How does him, watch?

Now watch him, as he again goes through this procedure of deciding what response to make to this person.

What is You?

You is may have done this already..

How does You may have?

You may have done this already.

What is the future?

the future is And then in is there any way that he wants to behave differently?.

How does the future is?

And then in the future is there any way that he wants to behave differently?

What is anything useful??

anything useful? is Is there.

How does anything useful? Is?

Is there anything useful?

What is it?

it is And sometimes, if is just a playful thing, it may be just kind of banter back and forth and doesn't matter, and there is not really any impetus to change behavior. . . ..

How does it is just?

And sometimes, if it is just a playful thing, it may be just kind of banter back and forth and doesn't matter, and there is not really any impetus to change behavior. . . .

What is I?

I is OK, now want you to run through it one more time..

How does I want?

OK, now I want you to run through it one more time.

What is This time?

This time is some real weirdo comes up just out of the blue on the street and makes some weird comment that you can't make head nor tail out of..

How does This time comes up just?

This time some real weirdo comes up just out of the blue on the street and makes some weird comment that you can't make head nor tail out of.

What is And?

And is (OK.) again he asks, you know, “Well, can you say more about this?” Or, “How specifically?” or something like that..

How does And asks,?

(OK.) And again he asks, you know, “Well, can you say more about this?” Or, “How specifically?” or something like that.

What is he?

he is And just gets “word salad” back, you know; this is a schizophrenic who just got loose from the hospital or something..

How does he just gets?

And he just gets “word salad” back, you know; this is a schizophrenic who just got loose from the hospital or something.

What is you?

you is And when make a movie of what his pictures are, and what you can remember of what just happened, it just doesn't match at all..

How does you make?

And when you make a movie of what his pictures are, and what you can remember of what just happened, it just doesn't match at all.

What is (Right.) And?

(Right.) And is at a certain point you say, “Thanks, but no thanks,” or “Excuse me,” or something like that..

How does (Right.) And say,?

(Right.) And at a certain point you say, “Thanks, but no thanks,” or “Excuse me,” or something like that.

What is You?

You is make a concerted effort to find out what the person means, and if there is any real information in this—or is this just an insult that comes out of their own internal space, in which case you can safely dismiss it, because you don't have any— (Carl: It's not worth it.) It's not worth it, because it doesn't have information that you want to use to change your behavior in the future, right?.

How does You make?

You make a concerted effort to find out what the person means, and if there is any real information in this—or is this just an insult that comes out of their own internal space, in which case you can safely dismiss it, because you don't have any— (Carl: It's not worth it.) It's not worth it, because it doesn't have information that you want to use to change your behavior in the future, right?

What is You?

You is Carl: are not going to learn from it..

How does You are not going to learn?

Carl: You are not going to learn from it.

What is that Carl over there?

that Carl over there is OK, now, watching go through all that, I gather this feels real good..

How does that Carl over there watching?

OK, now, watching that Carl over there go through all that, I gather this feels real good.

What is It?

It is (Real good.) looks nice?.

How does It looks?

(Real good.) It looks nice?

What is Is?

Is is (Looks nice.) there any problem with any part of that?.

How does Is (Looks?

(Looks nice.) Is there any problem with any part of that?

What is there any part?

there any part is Is of that that you would want to adjust in any way, or that you have any concerns about? . . ..

How does there any part Is?

Is there any part of that that you would want to adjust in any way, or that you have any concerns about? . . .

What is thing?

thing is Carl: The only is that I just—I want this to happen..

How does thing is?

Carl: The only thing is that I just—I want this to happen.

What is I?

I is want to be in there..

How does I want?

I want to be in there.

What is I?

I is don't want to be dissociated!.

How does I don't want?

I don't want to be dissociated!

What is (laughter) Well,?

(laughter) Well, is that is the next step..

How does (laughter) Well, is?

(laughter) Well, that is the next step.

What is it?

it is But looks good out there, right?.

How does it looks?

But it looks good out there, right?

What is beckon?

beckon is OK, gradually reach out and to that one out there (Steve demonstrates reaching out with his arms and then bringing them slowly back toward his chest), and very gradually, at your own speed, just bring him in to you, and make him totally a part of you..

How does beckon gradually reach out?

OK, gradually reach out and beckon to that one out there (Steve demonstrates reaching out with his arms and then bringing them slowly back toward his chest), and very gradually, at your own speed, just bring him in to you, and make him totally a part of you.

What is (Carl?

(Carl is reaches out and brings the other Carl back in. As he does this, there are a lot of nonverbal shifts—deeper breathing, color changes, etc.—that indicate a powerful integration with a lot of feeling.) . . ..

How does (Carl reaches out?

(Carl reaches out and brings the other Carl back in. As he does this, there are a lot of nonverbal shifts—deeper breathing, color changes, etc.—that indicate a powerful integration with a lot of feeling.) . . .

What is a couple of minutes,?

a couple of minutes, is Take to take that all in. . . ..

How does a couple of minutes, Take?

Take a couple of minutes, to take that all in. . . .

What is there?

there is Just hang out for a while. . . ..

How does there Just hang out?

Just hang out there for a while. . . .

What is (Carl?

(Carl is wipes his eyes.) This is a biggie for you, isn't it?.

How does (Carl wipes?

(Carl wipes his eyes.) This is a biggie for you, isn't it?

What is (Carl?

(Carl is nods.) I am glad you came up here..

How does (Carl nods.)?

(Carl nods.) I am glad you came up here.

What is you?

you is So just take a little time to hang in there for a while and just let all that stuff kind of settle down..

How does you just take?

So you just take a little time to hang in there for a while and just let all that stuff kind of settle down.

What is much time?

much time is Take as as you want..

How does much time Take?

Take as much time as you want.

What is I?

I is am going to go through stuff with the group; you just hang out there..

How does I am going to go through?

I am going to go through stuff with the group; you just hang out there.

What is you?

you is OK, do have any questions?.

How does you do?

OK, do you have any questions?

What is You?

You is can take a look at the outline sheet if you want..

How does You can take?

You can take a look at the outline sheet if you want.

What is I?

I is Dee: Well, either missed it or something, but you didn't have him do one, that I saw, where somebody that he really cared about, respected, admired, and he was really close to, said something totally tacky, tasteless, and vicious to him..

How does I missed?

Dee: Well, either I missed it or something, but you didn't have him do one, that I saw, where somebody that he really cared about, respected, admired, and he was really close to, said something totally tacky, tasteless, and vicious to him.

What is you?

you is When are in a small group, make sure that they do that with you..

How does you are?

When you are in a small group, make sure that they do that with you.

What is I?

I is Well, mean it is fine if some clown walks up to you, you go (she shrugs) “Who cares?” But if somebody you care about does that, it is not all that easy to take..

How does I mean?

Well, I mean it is fine if some clown walks up to you, you go (she shrugs) “Who cares?” But if somebody you care about does that, it is not all that easy to take.

What is It?

It is is different, right..

How does It is?

It is different, right.

What is he?

he is Now actually picked somebody in his own family— Carl: That's what I started out with..

How does he actually picked?

Now he actually picked somebody in his own family— Carl: That's what I started out with.

What is he?

he is So actually started out with something like that..

How does he actually started out?

So he actually started out with something like that.

What is Because,?

Because, is Carl: you know, as far as I am concerned, that is the hardest—was the hardest for me, and I didn't get angry at the person who gave it to me..

How does Because, know,?

Carl: Because, you know, as far as I am concerned, that is the hardest—was the hardest for me, and I didn't get angry at the person who gave it to me.

What is I?

I is was angry at myself for not being able to respond to it in the way I would like to..

How does I was?

I was angry at myself for not being able to respond to it in the way I would like to.

What is my own family?

my own family is And, as far as goes, I know that they love me in the first place, and in their eyes it's constructive..

How does my own family goes,?

And, as far as my own family goes, I know that they love me in the first place, and in their eyes it's constructive.

What is It's?

It's is just that the way I was receiving it, you know..

How does It's just?

It's just that the way I was receiving it, you know.

What is I?

I is would automatically second guess myself on something I was doing, and automatically just go, “Yeah, I'm this rotten person.” And so I knew that their intentions were good; it was just how I responded to it. And being able to dissociate and watch me dissociate¬ Dee: OK. But would you have felt the same way if what they said—like you said “Oh, yeah, I can see that that's valid.” Suppose that it was totally not valid for you..

How does I would automatically?

I would automatically second guess myself on something I was doing, and automatically just go, “Yeah, I'm this rotten person.” And so I knew that their intentions were good; it was just how I responded to it. And being able to dissociate and watch me dissociate¬ Dee: OK. But would you have felt the same way if what they said—like you said “Oh, yeah, I can see that that's valid.” Suppose that it was totally not valid for you.

What is It?

It is might have been for them and they might think so, but it is absolutely not real to you that that is true..

How does It might have been?

It might have been for them and they might think so, but it is absolutely not real to you that that is true.

What is you?

you is Would have felt the same way?.

How does you Would?

Would you have felt the same way?

What is As?

As is Carl: I was watching it like that?.

How does As was watching?

Carl: As I was watching it like that?

What is I?

I is am protected..

How does I am?

I am protected.

What is the past,?

the past, is Before, in it just was coming right into me..

How does the past, just was coming?

Before, in the past, it just was coming right into me.

What is (Carl gestures?

(Carl gestures is toward his mid—chest.) But to be able to see what they are telling me up on a picture and have that dissociation is just like the fast phobia cure, it enables you to experience something, and be apart from it, so you don't have to associate and feel like crap about it..

How does (Carl gestures be?

(Carl gestures toward his mid—chest.) But to be able to see what they are telling me up on a picture and have that dissociation is just like the fast phobia cure, it enables you to experience something, and be apart from it, so you don't have to associate and feel like crap about it.

What is it?

it is (Take in physiologically.) That's right..

How does it (Take?

(Take it in physiologically.) That's right.

What is You?

You is could say anything to me right now, if you want, and we can test it out..

How does You could say?

You could say anything to me right now, if you want, and we can test it out.

What is I?

I is Dee: Well, don't have anything mean to say to you..

How does I don't have?

Dee: Well, I don't have anything mean to say to you.

What is I?

I is have taught this a lot of times, but you have really been the slowest..

How does I have taught?

I have taught this a lot of times, but you have really been the slowest.

What is (Carl?

(Carl is looks up and smiles.) This is testing..

How does (Carl looks up?

(Carl looks up and smiles.) This is testing.

What is I?

I is Dee: thought he was the most touching..

How does I thought?

Dee: I thought he was the most touching.

What is He?

He is got me right in my heart..

How does He got?

He got me right in my heart.

What is a particular situation,?

a particular situation, is If there is Dee, that is the one that always gets you or something like that, I recommend that you don't use that as the first thing to run through this..

How does a particular situation, is?

If there is a particular situation, Dee, that is the one that always gets you or something like that, I recommend that you don't use that as the first thing to run through this.

What is you're?

you're is Because when first learning to drive, you don't get in a car and go straight to Le Mans or Daytona Beach or something like that—you learn, hopefully, on a dirt track or a football field or something like that..

How does you're drive,?

Because when you're first learning to drive, you don't get in a car and go straight to Le Mans or Daytona Beach or something like that—you learn, hopefully, on a dirt track or a football field or something like that.

What is you?

you is But by all means do use this with whatever is for the most difficult kind of criticism to take, whether it's a boss or a spouse or a child, or whoever..

How does you all means do use?

But by all means do use this with whatever is for you the most difficult kind of criticism to take, whether it's a boss or a spouse or a child, or whoever.

What is it?

it is By all means use at some point, after you have gained some fluency with the different steps, because otherwise you may get stuck in one step and the whole thing may fall apart..

How does it all means use?

By all means use it at some point, after you have gained some fluency with the different steps, because otherwise you may get stuck in one step and the whole thing may fall apart.

What is it.?

it. is By all means test.

How does it. all means test?

By all means test it.

What is I?

I is And agree with what I think is the intent of your comment: “Well, you know, this may work on some things, but how about those real tough ones?” By all means do it on the tough ones..

How does I agree?

And I agree with what I think is the intent of your comment: “Well, you know, this may work on some things, but how about those real tough ones?” By all means do it on the tough ones.

What is It?

It is will work on that if you really install the system, because the strategy—just like the fast phobia cure—establishes that dissociation so that you can watch it all out there..

How does It will work?

It will work on that if you really install the system, because the strategy—just like the fast phobia cure—establishes that dissociation so that you can watch it all out there.

What is the lovely things?

the lovely things is One of about this installation method is if the you out there screws up..

How does the lovely things is?

One of the lovely things about this installation method is if the you out there screws up.

What is You?

You is Carl: are protected from it..

How does You are?

Carl: You are protected from it.

What is You?

You is are protected..

How does You are?

You are protected.

What is You?

You is can just watch it, and then you can just back up the movie and say, “OK” and you make some adjustment, and then you run it forward again, so that— Carl: You have total control, whatever happens..

How does You can just watch?

You can just watch it, and then you can just back up the movie and say, “OK” and you make some adjustment, and then you run it forward again, so that— Carl: You have total control, whatever happens.

What is Interview?

Interview is Follow—up So it has been about two weeks now..

How does Interview Follow—up?

Follow—up Interview So it has been about two weeks now.

What is the folks?

the folks is So, tell out there..

How does the folks tell?

So, tell the folks out there.

What is the criticism strategy?

the criticism strategy is Carl: Well, after was installed, a couple of people here would—out of the clear blue sky—just walk up to me and call me a jerk and stuff, and then they would start laughing because they were just trying to test it, but¬— So that wasn't a very good test, right?.

How does the criticism strategy was installed,?

Carl: Well, after the criticism strategy was installed, a couple of people here would—out of the clear blue sky—just walk up to me and call me a jerk and stuff, and then they would start laughing because they were just trying to test it, but¬— So that wasn't a very good test, right?

What is the real world?

the real world is Carl: No, is where it needed to be done..

How does the real world is?

Carl: No, the real world is where it needed to be done.

What is my job,?

my job, is And in I never realized this before, but I go into people's homes, and I remove equipment that my company has installed there..

How does my job, never realized?

And in my job, I never realized this before, but I go into people's homes, and I remove equipment that my company has installed there.

What is I?

I is And when remove it, it leaves holes in their walls, and everywhere..

How does I remove?

And when I remove it, it leaves holes in their walls, and everywhere.

What is they?

they is And originally signed a contract that we are not responsible or anything..

How does they originally signed?

And they originally signed a contract that we are not responsible or anything.

What is I?

I is am the person there, and I am the one that they yell and scream at..

How does I am?

I am the person there, and I am the one that they yell and scream at.

What is I?

I is never realized before that that would bother me, you know, unconsciously..

How does I never realized?

I never realized before that that would bother me, you know, unconsciously.

What is it?

it is But when would happen in the last two weeks, I would automatically take a step back (Carl’s body moves back slightly) and I am doing it right now because I am remembering it..

How does it would happen?

But when it would happen in the last two weeks, I would automatically take a step back (Carl’s body moves back slightly) and I am doing it right now because I am remembering it.

What is it?

it is And when would first start happening, it would consciously happen and I would see it, and decide whether it was worth it or not, and go on from there..

How does it would?

And when it would first start happening, it would consciously happen and I would see it, and decide whether it was worth it or not, and go on from there.

What is the more?

the more is And it would happen, the faster it became..

How does the more would happen,?

And the more it would happen, the faster it became.

What is the people?

the people is So I work with, they just wired it in really great for me..

How does the people work?

So the people I work with, they just wired it in really great for me.

What is I?

I is So was almost reframing..

How does I was almost reframing.?

So I was almost reframing.

What is It?

It is was like, you know, “Keep it up, man! This is great for me,” The more the better..

How does It was like,?

It was like, you know, “Keep it up, man! This is great for me,” The more the better.

What is That?

That is (Yeah.) is how it works..

How does That is?

(Yeah.) That is how it works.

What is you?

you is When install a new system like that, the more it gets to run, the more automatic it becomes..

How does you install?

When you install a new system like that, the more it gets to run, the more automatic it becomes.

What is you?

you is Now, said consciously you'd take a step back..

How does you said consciously?

Now, you said consciously you'd take a step back.

What is It?

It is was that you conscious¬ly noticed, right?.

How does It was?

It was that you conscious¬ly noticed, right?

What is It?

It is (Right.) wasn't that you would consciously think about doing it, right?.

How does It (Right.)?

(Right.) It wasn't that you would consciously think about doing it, right?

What is its own.?

its own. is That happened on.

How does its own. happened?

That happened on its own.

What is A couple of times?

A couple of times is during driving—I do a lot of driving—I would cut somebody off and it would work real well there, too..

How does A couple of times driving—?

A couple of times during driving—I do a lot of driving—I would cut somebody off and it would work real well there, too.

What is (laughter) Especially,?

(laughter) Especially, is you know, in the past I would always be going, “Oh, I am a terrible driver,” and then if it was warranted, I'd say, “Yeah, well, next time I have to do a little bit better..

How does (laughter) Especially, know,?

(laughter) Especially, you know, in the past I would always be going, “Oh, I am a terrible driver,” and then if it was warranted, I'd say, “Yeah, well, next time I have to do a little bit better.

What is I?

I is was a little worried there for a moment that I'd turned you into a lousy driver..

How does I was?

I was a little worried there for a moment that I'd turned you into a lousy driver.

What is I?

I is Carl: think the best test happened yesterday..

How does I think?

Carl: I think the best test happened yesterday.

What is I?

I is got my hair cut, and I felt pretty good about it..

How does I got?

I got my hair cut, and I felt pretty good about it.

What is I?

I is thought it looked pretty good, and I went home, just to my parents..

How does I thought?

I thought it looked pretty good, and I went home, just to my parents.

What is I?

I is don't live there, but I just went by to see them..

How does I don't live?

I don't live there, but I just went by to see them.

What is I?

I is And said, “I got my hair cut, Mom.” And she looked at me and she goes, “What about the back?” back here, because usually I get it all cut..

How does I said,?

And I said, “I got my hair cut, Mom.” And she looked at me and she goes, “What about the back?” back here, because usually I get it all cut.

What is she?

she is And was serious, you know, “What about the back?” And instantly: step back, “Is this warranted?” “No.” It was really powerful..

How does she was?

And she was serious, you know, “What about the back?” And instantly: step back, “Is this warranted?” “No.” It was really powerful.

What is it?

it is And for to be with her—the family scene—and for me not to plan, it was totally unconscious, and it was really powerful..

How does it be?

And for it to be with her—the family scene—and for me not to plan, it was totally unconscious, and it was really powerful.

What is I?

I is So, am a success..

How does I am?

So, I am a success.

What is (We?

(We is now have follow—up 15 years after this session; Carl still responds well to criticism, and he has also taught the process to his children. ) Review of the Process 1..

How does (We have follow—up?

(We now have follow—up 15 years after this session; Carl still responds well to criticism, and he has also taught the process to his children. ) Review of the Process 1.

What is the strategy?

the strategy is Install in a dissociated state..

How does the strategy Install?

Install the strategy in a dissociated state.

What is “Ann.?

“Ann. is see yourself out there in front of you. That Ann is about to learn a new way to respond to criticism.” Do whatever you need to do to maintain the dissociation..

How does “Ann. see?

“Ann. see yourself out there in front of you. That Ann is about to learn a new way to respond to criticism.” Do whatever you need to do to maintain the dissociation.

What is “You?

“You is can see Ann as far away as you want to, or in black and white, and you can put up a plexiglass barrier in front of you if that helps you stay here as an observer.” Always use pronouns and location words, such as “her, out there,” to keep that distance and dissociation..

How does “You can see?

“You can see Ann as far away as you want to, or in black and white, and you can put up a plexiglass barrier in front of you if that helps you stay here as an observer.” Always use pronouns and location words, such as “her, out there,” to keep that distance and dissociation.

What is the nonverbals of dissociation.?

the nonverbals of dissociation. is Be sure to watch for.

How does the nonverbals of dissociation. Be?

Be sure to watch for the nonverbals of dissociation.

What is Carl?

Carl is When was first up here, he started seeing himself over there, and then his shoulders and head came back, which was a good indication that he was getting more fully dissociated..

How does Carl was?

When Carl was first up here, he started seeing himself over there, and then his shoulders and head came back, which was a good indication that he was getting more fully dissociated.

What is the client?

the client is So make sure that looks different when she is dissociated than when she is associated..

How does the client make sure?

So make sure that the client looks different when she is dissociated than when she is associated.

What is A few people?

A few people is will prefer to use auditory dissociation—hearing them¬selves on a tape recorder at another location in space—or very rarely even kinesthetic dissociation—feeling themselves with their fingertips at another location in space..

How does A few people will prefer?

A few people will prefer to use auditory dissociation—hearing them¬selves on a tape recorder at another location in space—or very rarely even kinesthetic dissociation—feeling themselves with their fingertips at another location in space.

What is You?

You is can also use the “as if” frame or vague language for people who don't consciously visualize: “Pretend that you can see yourself over there.” “Get a sense that you are behind a plexiglass shield.” 2..

How does You can also use?

You can also use the “as if” frame or vague language for people who don't consciously visualize: “Pretend that you can see yourself over there.” “Get a sense that you are behind a plexiglass shield.” 2.

What is the criticism.?

the criticism. is Dissociate from.

How does the criticism. Dissociate?

Dissociate from the criticism.

What is “That Ann over there?

“That Ann over there is is about to be criticized. Watch and listen as she immediately dissociates from the criticism.” There are various ways for her to do this..

How does “That Ann over there is about?

“That Ann over there is about to be criticized. Watch and listen as she immediately dissociates from the criticism.” There are various ways for her to do this.

What is One way?

One way is is for that Ann over there to see herself getting criticized..

How does One way is?

One way is for that Ann over there to see herself getting criticized.

What is Another way?

Another way is is for her to print the words of the criticism out in space at about arm's length, or she can step out of her body and see herself receiving the criticism..

How does Another way is?

Another way is for her to print the words of the criticism out in space at about arm's length, or she can step out of her body and see herself receiving the criticism.

What is simple dissociation alone?

simple dissociation alone is If isn't enough to keep that Ann in front of you in a resourceful state, try using some other supporting submodality shifts..

How does simple dissociation alone isn't?

If simple dissociation alone isn't enough to keep that Ann in front of you in a resourceful state, try using some other supporting submodality shifts.

What is Ann?

Ann is Have that make that dissociated picture of being criticized smaller, farther away, transparent, dimmer, or any other submodality shift that sufficiently diminishes her response..

How does Ann Have that?

Have that Ann make that dissociated picture of being criticized smaller, farther away, transparent, dimmer, or any other submodality shift that sufficiently diminishes her response.

What is The dissociation?

The dissociation is prevents the immediate bad feel¬ings that so many people experience, and it also provides the objective viewpoint necessary for the next step..

How does The dissociation prevents?

The dissociation prevents the immediate bad feel¬ings that so many people experience, and it also provides the objective viewpoint necessary for the next step.

What is 3. Make?

3. Make is a dissociated representation of the content of the criticism..

How does 3. Make dissociated?

3. Make a dissociated representation of the content of the criticism.

What is Ann?

Ann is “Watch as she makes a movie of what the criticizer is saying.” Again, that Ann can make this representation smaller and farther away in order for her to maintain a resourceful state. Some people make such big, bright, and close pictures of the “awful” thing they did, that it's very difficult for them to maintain a resource state..

How does Ann “Watch?

“Watch Ann as she makes a movie of what the criticizer is saying.” Again, that Ann can make this representation smaller and farther away in order for her to maintain a resourceful state. Some people make such big, bright, and close pictures of the “awful” thing they did, that it's very difficult for them to maintain a resource state.

What is She?

She is can move it far enough away, or whatever, so that she can be comfortable, yet still see it clearly..

How does She can move?

She can move it far enough away, or whatever, so that she can be comfortable, yet still see it clearly.

What is you?

you is Before can evaluate criticism, you need to understand it..

How does you can evaluate?

Before you can evaluate criticism, you need to understand it.

What is this person mean??

this person mean? is What does.

How does this person mean? does?

What does this person mean?

What is someone?

someone is If says, “You're twenty minutes late; now we'll either have to rush or be late to the movie,” you can easily make a reasonably detailed internal representation of that information in all major representational systems..

How does someone says,?

If someone says, “You're twenty minutes late; now we'll either have to rush or be late to the movie,” you can easily make a reasonably detailed internal representation of that information in all major representational systems.

What is criticism?

criticism is However, often is too vague to understand well..

How does criticism is too?

However, often criticism is too vague to understand well.

What is someone?

someone is If says, “You're a skunk,” or “You're inconsiderate,” that Ann will have to gather more specific information in order to know exactly what the criticizer means..

How does someone says,?

If someone says, “You're a skunk,” or “You're inconsiderate,” that Ann will have to gather more specific information in order to know exactly what the criticizer means.

What is more information,?

more information, is Before asking for it is always useful to pace the criticizer in some way: “I'm concerned that you think I'm a skunk,” “I appreciate your honesty in telling me that,” “I'm sorry that I upset you,” etc. Then you can ask, “What specifically did I do that was inconsiderate?” “Watch that Ann continue to gather information until she can make a clear and detailed representation of the criticism in all major representa¬tional systems.” 4..

How does more information, asking?

Before asking for more information, it is always useful to pace the criticizer in some way: “I'm concerned that you think I'm a skunk,” “I appreciate your honesty in telling me that,” “I'm sorry that I upset you,” etc. Then you can ask, “What specifically did I do that was inconsiderate?” “Watch that Ann continue to gather information until she can make a clear and detailed representation of the criticism in all major representa¬tional systems.” 4.

What is the criticism,?

the criticism, is Evaluate gathering information when necessary..

How does the criticism, Evaluate?

Evaluate the criticism, gathering information when necessary.

What is Ann?

Ann is “Watch as she compares her representation of the criticism with all other information she has about the situation, in order to find out if they match or mismatch.” The simplest and most direct way to do this is to have Ann rerun her own remembered movies of the event and compare them with a movie of the criticism..

How does Ann “Watch?

“Watch Ann as she compares her representation of the criticism with all other information she has about the situation, in order to find out if they match or mismatch.” The simplest and most direct way to do this is to have Ann rerun her own remembered movies of the event and compare them with a movie of the criticism.

What is She?

She is can also run movies of the event from different viewpoints, including that of the criticizer, an onlooker, or another relevant person..

How does She can also run?

She can also run movies of the event from different viewpoints, including that of the criticizer, an onlooker, or another relevant person.

What is she?

she is If has comments from other onlookers, these may also be useful in evaluating whether or not the criticism contains valid, useful information..

How does she has?

If she has comments from other onlookers, these may also be useful in evaluating whether or not the criticism contains valid, useful information.

What is a complete mismatch?

a complete mismatch is If there is between the memory and the criticism when she does this, she may need to back up to Step 2 and gather more information about the criticism..

How does a complete mismatch is?

If there is a complete mismatch between the memory and the criticism when she does this, she may need to back up to Step 2 and gather more information about the criticism.

What is instance,?

instance, is For she may not have understood that when the criticizer said she was “shouting” and “ranting,” he meant that the volume and pitch of her voice increased by 10%, and this is something that he is very sensitive to because of a history of being abused..

How does instance, may not have understood?

For instance, she may not have understood that when the criticizer said she was “shouting” and “ranting,” he meant that the volume and pitch of her voice increased by 10%, and this is something that he is very sensitive to because of a history of being abused.

What is a complete mismatch?

a complete mismatch is If there is still after repeated information—gath¬ering, it may be time for her to conclude that she simply disagrees..

How does a complete mismatch is?

If there is still a complete mismatch after repeated information—gath¬ering, it may be time for her to conclude that she simply disagrees.

What is The criticizer?

The criticizer is may be hallucinating or in some other way internally generating experience..

How does The criticizer may be hallucinating?

The criticizer may be hallucinating or in some other way internally generating experience.

What is His comments?

His comments is aren't really about her, but about himself, his past history, etc. Of course it's also possible that she may have amnesia for what he's talking about, or that her perspective is so different that she hasn't yet found a way to understand the criticizer..

How does His comments aren't really?

His comments aren't really about her, but about himself, his past history, etc. Of course it's also possible that she may have amnesia for what he's talking about, or that her perspective is so different that she hasn't yet found a way to understand the criticizer.

What is the situation,?

the situation, is Depending on it mayor may not be worthwhile for her to continue to work toward understanding..

How does the situation, Depending?

Depending on the situation, it mayor may not be worthwhile for her to continue to work toward understanding.

What is there?

there is Usually will be at least some match between that Ann's repre¬sentation and the critizer's..

How does there will be at least?

Usually there will be at least some match between that Ann's repre¬sentation and the critizer's.

What is she?

she is When this is true, can acknowledge the parts that match, and ask for more information about the parts that she doesn't yet understand..

How does she is?

When this is true, she can acknowledge the parts that match, and ask for more information about the parts that she doesn't yet understand.

What is the two representations?

the two representations is When do match, this is equivalent to saying that according to her best information—and the more she has, the better!—the criticism is accurate feedback information that is useful for her to know about..

How does the two representations do match,?

When the two representations do match, this is equivalent to saying that according to her best information—and the more she has, the better!—the criticism is accurate feedback information that is useful for her to know about.

What is Ann?

Ann is “Watch as she decides what she wants to do.” So far her only response to the criticizer has been pacing and information—gathering..

How does Ann “Watch?

“Watch Ann as she decides what she wants to do.” So far her only response to the criticizer has been pacing and information—gathering.

What is It?

It is is now time for a response, even if it's only an all—purpose response, such as, “Thank you for bringing this to my attention; I'll have to give this some serious thought.” Ann's response will depend on who she is as a person—her outcomes, criteria, values—as well as the context and the criticism itself..

How does It is?

It is now time for a response, even if it's only an all—purpose response, such as, “Thank you for bringing this to my attention; I'll have to give this some serious thought.” Ann's response will depend on who she is as a person—her outcomes, criteria, values—as well as the context and the criticism itself.